Chat Shit.

Some good chat shit.
Mikey: Wanna cyber?
Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?
Mikey: What like gardening an shit?
Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.
Mikey: Nothing turns me on more, check this out:
Mikey: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
Katie_007: is that it?
Mikey: You water your tomato patch.
Mikey: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Mikey: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.
Mikey: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.
Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Mikey: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Mikey: Damn baby you're right, this shit is HOTT.
Katie_007: ...
Mikey: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Mikey: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
Katie_007: whatever.
Mikey: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and I'm spent.
Love,
Teamfoot
Vegetables are hot.

Fun with Chat

Jsean: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
Jsean: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
Jsean: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
Jsean: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
Jsean: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
Jsean: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
Jsean: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
Jsean: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
Jsean: Goddam am I hard now.

today i wacked off...HARD!

Today was a great day. Not only did I just get my new Spiderman costume, but I also got a new addition from Hustler called Spidey sex..yes I know the hottest thing in the world..a collection of images of Peter Parker's dick going inside some ginger bitches TWAT! Also I just recently found out that my penis now fits into my box of finger condoms. After i figured that out I whacked off with a bottle of vaseline with my asian sized penis for about 3 hours..in my spidey suit. I sadly realized that i couldn't jizz, and began to wonder what the point of my life. its just not about masturbating to weird spiderman porn or trying to touch your little brother in his sleep. But yes the real point of life is to just go around cap niggas. A i recently just watched a rap video the general message that i got was that niggas who steal yo dope and ice yo members deserved to have a cap busted up the ass. I realized that joining a gang will be hard considering since im a jew with a nose bigger than the average male elephant cock. Anyways i must be going mommy says its role play night

Love,
Teamfoot

P.S. if you are a girl and reading this i want you to know that i am single and always ready to spidey fuck all of you dirty bitches!

We all have our first time. This is my story:
I think I was 12 at the time, and I was at this girl's house for some kind of party... I think her name was Kate. Anyway, at some point she said she wanted to show me something, and brought me alone to her brother's room. She dug under his bed and took out a picture of a woman having sex with a dog. Then she kissed me. I'm as confused about this now as I was then.
A poem I composed about Trojan extended pleasure condoms.
I saw these condoms
inside is lined with some chemical that numbs your dick
so you can last longer
or wear it inside out, and you don't even have to wake her up
Every man gets caught jacking off sooner or later.
It was a bad night. I couldn't sleep, and had no idea what to do. My parents are still awake, it was midnight, and I was bored. So then I remembered that I had a drama presentation the next class and I played a rich guy so I needed a suit. I take out my suit, and get dressed. You know, the works. I even took out my top hat and my cane. Now it gets a little weird. I had to go downstairs in order to see how I looked as it's the only place with a full body mirror. My parents sleep on the same floor as me so I didn't want to wake them up. So I got this idea. I decided to turn on my TV so that my parents thought people were talking outside, and my footsteps would be noises they were making. I thought it would work, I was tired. I ran downstairs, checked myself out. I looked fine, so I went back into my room. Now by then the running in a suit had made me kind of itchy (down south), so I quickly undo my pants and release what was stuck and to relieve my itch with my hand. And my stepmom opens the door to the room and all I do is freeze in surprise. I don't know what she was thinking, but I can tell you the following it was midnight, I was in a suit and top hat, and I appeared to be jacking off to George from Seinfeld. And my stepmom just stood there in disbelief I can't tell you what ensued, but it involved attempted exorcism and lots of crying. Best night ever.
Love,
Teamfoot,
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
If yes, you just killed Beethoven.

i like omegle

You: is you a virgin?

You: sorry my enlich isnt spot on yet :)

Stranger: Haha. I was just about to correct you. And no. Im not

You: its odd that your nation does not marry young like us

You: im married and have a child

Stranger: What? Your 13? We can have sex and not mary here.

You: it hurt]

You: alot

Stranger: I bet it did. Thats sucks.

You: but that isnt love

You: fucking and never talking again

You: german do 3 things, make good porn, make bear, and make dinner

You: beer*

You: oh and praise Füher

You: Der Füher wird noch einmal steigen! Juden schauen besser ihres Arsches zu!

Stranger: Im german. Haha. I just live in the Untied States. And dont know what the fuck you just said.

You: i said. "praise the Fuher, he will rise once again. You jews better watch you ass's"

You: your lieing

You: you do not have german blood

You: you would have told me when we first started talking

Stranger: No. Not nessicarily. I only say if they ask

Stranger: But anyway, my Ansesters are from germany. my grandma is accually. I have german and irish blood. No joke

You: know whats really funny? im a 35 year old man living in the usa

You: ima go masturbate and watch star wars

You: but i am a nazi

Love,

Team Foot

Nazi actually enjoy playing Nazi Zombies.

Yes the blog is back, but with that comes the asians

I was on wow the other night... as usual. And some goddamn asian came and killed me. for no reason. Fuck. this pisses me off. Well the blogs back.

I guess i should probably start giving updates on all my wow characters.

I have a level 70 mage that i think ima just leave at that leave at that level cuz i can still pwn all the fuckers that get near me with a single fire rain. And ive already gotten his armour like fucking amazing, so why bother. My 80 drood is still pwning, so yeah. Movin' my hips like yeah' thats miley cyruss. shes the only person i listen to while gaming.

Love,

Team Foot

P.s were back, and the bacon is still fresh...just to let ya know

Mutha-Fuckaz the Blog is Back!!

First off, I'd like to thank Mikey for making a new post and starting off the blog again, but hellz yeah I've got tons of stories about my "heavy" encounters with numerous ladies, and one man (we'll save that story for another day). Anyways, so after exhausting all my needs for fat, lard, and other "obese" characteristics, I decided to ditch the chubs and hit the cubs, I'm into bestiality now.

So without further ado (yeah bitch I said ado), I will tell you about my intercourse with a sheep. No I'm not from New Zealand, but I love that sweet, soft, feel of wool on my ASS. I'll tell you right now, 69 with a sheep is sort of awkward, because you always end up choking on some excess fuzz. Not fun. Either way, I'll bet you didn't know there's a sex position called sheep style. What you do is you fuck it hard in the ass until you are about to come, then you pull out and jizz all over the sheep's wool. Then you run your hands through the wool until you have a handful of come and then you rub it in the sheep's face. If it makes a noise, it means it likes it, but if it doesn't make a noise, you better run the fuck away because the sheep is gonna FUCKING KILL YOU.

Love,
Teamfoot.
You want to fuck a sheep. Now. Don't deny it. Bitch.

HOLA FUCKERS

I spoke to Jack the other day... THE MOTHERFUCKING BLOG IS BACK BITCH. Bigger and blacker than ever, as they say. I don't know if anyone will post anything this or next week besides me, but please check regularly or subscribe!!! Ok, now back to the funny stuff. I gay-bashed a while ago, but it's time to make it up, here we go:

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed an extremely well-dressed and exotic young woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Bitch."

Love, Teamfoot
Straight-bashers are the new gay-bashers

guys...

So i went to Central America b/c i heard a rumor that asians were forming an Alqida Terrorism cell some were near belize. I got on my flight and immediately the torture began.  I had a fat chick next to me... Spencer you would have been on her like bacon grease. SHe was sweating and coughing. She was at the window and i was on the isle. Out of no were she pulled out a six pack of twix... good fucking job TSA you can find the thumbtack in my back pack and accuse me of trying to take over the plane. But you let this chick in.. those could be mini pipe bombs! Well i was sitting back reading a WoW game manual, when i started to think... how did she get through the metal detecter? Really it still stumps me. Well we landed in Belize. i made my way out and oriented to my coordinates, i had to you my super uber pwnage navigation skills that i learned at summer camp to find their training facility. 

I was trekking through the mother fucking jungle. I was getting close. Drenched in sweat and i had my sword ready for action. It was a collectable from wow.com . 

I came to a clearing... i saw smoke from a camp fire this must be it  i was thinking when i realized. I hadnt played wow in over 5 hours... my pulse sped up and i started craving it... i neeeeeeded it. I ran as fast my driud with a potion to the airport and chartered a plane. I made it back to my house in under 2 1/2 hours "landing" the plane in the nearest chinese embassy. 

Overall it sucked ass but quite an adventure.

Love Teamfoot

Punting kittens is always good luck.

Last Omegle Post of Mine

Hey guys,
This will be my last Omegle post, as I realize how old it can get. I would've stopped earlier, but this was just too good to pass up. Here it is!

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: by law I am requiered to tell you that I am a registered sex-offender

You: but thats not me anymore

You: please don't leave

You: don't be like the others

You: love me

You: where do you live

You: what your name

You: what are your parents names

You: do you have any pets

You: should I bring lube?

Stranger: 。。。。

You: please answer these questions as they are vital for maximum pleasure

You: iuhhhhhhhhhh i just came in my pants

You: did you feel the earth move?

You: My name is Henry.

Stranger: er...

You: and you?

Stranger: nice to meet u.henry

Stranger: my name is Did

You: what are your religous beliefs?

You: what the fuck kind of name is Did?!?!?!

You: are your parents fucking retarted

You: I think they were stoned when they named you

You: DID?!?!?!!? HA HA HA HA WHAT A FUCKING RETARTED NAME

You: jkjkjkjkjkjkj

Stranger: i think u have some problem in ur head

You: sorrry sorry

You: jkjkjkjkj

You: did is a cool name

You: im sorry that was a mistake

You: lets have make up sex in the back of my van

Stranger: hehe

You: im not kidding]

You: Where do you live?

Stranger: MAR

Stranger: MARS

You: I'm not fucking kidding

You: I want to have buttsex now

You: how old are you

You: are you a minor

You: how big is your penis

Stranger: so, i think u come from the MARS too

You: mars is hot, now tell me where you live and how big your penis is

You: it's okay don't be scared, im nice

Stranger: hehe

Stranger: where do u live

You: 34th street West Boulevard in Erie Pennsylvania

You: where do you live

You: how big is your penis??

Stranger: 34th street West Boulevard in Erie Pennsylvania

You: okay then walk out into the road and i'll pick you up in my van and we can go to the carnival

You: do you like carnivals??

Stranger: haha

You: ill bring you home in two hours i promise

You: don't tell your mom though

You: don't haha me, bitch

Stranger: tell my dad ,then

You: GET YOUR ASS IN THE FUCKING STREET AND HOP INTO MY VAN RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKING LITTLE KID!!!!

Stranger: or tell the police?

You: tee hee

You: send me a picture of your penis

You: but don't tell your parents or the cops

Stranger: why ?

You: because, it can be our little secret

You: :) tee hee

You: now come on I'm waiting but I don't see you

You: GET YOUR FUCKING LITTLE PUNK ASS IN THE STREET AND HOP INTO MY FUCKING VAN RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE FAGGOT

You: I!!!!!!!!!

You: tee hee :)

You: talk dirty to me

You: but don't tell your parents

You: that 10 year jail term was long and hard

Stranger: hehe

You: DON'T FUCKING HEHE ME YOU LITTLE PUNKASS FAGGOT, GET IN MY VAN!!!!! OR I WILL COME FOR YOU

You: tee hee

Stranger: i think u may enjoy living in the jail

You: no, no no non

You: I can't go back to jail

You: PLEEASEE, PLEASE PLEASE

You: DON'T SEND ME TO JAIL!!!!

You: you don't know what they'll do to me in jail

You: they do bad things

You: things I was planning on doing to you in my van

You: tee hee

You: giggle giggle

You: BONER

Stranger: really~

You: yes, really.\

You: i can see it now

You: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PENIS IN YOUR BUTTCRACK
Your Conversational Partner Has Disconnected
Love, Teamfoot
Props to Ese

Another Skinny Slut Averted

K so I don't know how to copy the screen so here's my close call with a skinny chick:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Will you blow me?
Stranger: yes
You: Will you let me lick you all over?
Stranger: yes
You: are you fat?
Stranger: nooo
You: FUCK YOU!!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'd write more about scary skinny people, but I have to go.
Love,
Teamfoot

Evading skinny people since the beginning of time.

Mikey Baked a Pie!

Hey guys,
The image is pretty self-explanitory. (click on it to make it bigger)

Love,
Teamfoot
TT is good.

Having some fun

this was a fun time in this chat room. I really do like this one, because in this dream i can morph into different things... from a stocker to a panda to a rapist. OH YEAH

Stranger: seriously,

Stranger: i just wear g-string

Stranger: for u

You: mm hot

You: i want to pull it off with my teeth, sneaking a quick kiss for your pussy

You: start to kiss you on the bed.

Stranger: oh ye

You: till were ready for some foreplay

You: then i start to shed off my overcoat and pants

Stranger: sexy

You: let you do what you with to my penis

You: then kiss every part of your body starting at your mouth

You: moving slowly to your pussy

You: i start to put my tongue in, sneaking it in with ease

Stranger: i wanna hold ur PENNIS

You: ugh im starting to sweat

Stranger: i`m touching ur PENNIS

You: i want you to drench your self in warm butter, making the expirence 20 times better

Stranger: and kissing

You: then i call for my babies to come

You: little pandas gets super pumped for warm butter on a alpha female

You: i take a small bite of your pussy \

You: you scream in pain but i already chained to the bed

Stranger: u so strong

Stranger: aha

Stranger: ye

You: i masturbate to the site of your laying on the bed

You: struggling, but knowing your never getting out

You: i come over and shove my small penis into your ear

You: bursting your eardrum...

Stranger: ye

Love,

Teamfoot

smacking my own ass and jizzing to pictures of my mom has never been better

Pedofile Destroyed!

I know he was probably trying to be polite, but I can not stand a chance about being anally raped.
(P.S. Click on the picture to make it bigger.)
.
Love, Teamfoot
Die, Pedobear, die!

My New Sweetheart

Hey guys, Spencer here.
I recently got married to a new girl. I don't know her name because when I asked her she said "nomnomnonmnonmnomnyougotMcDonalds?????"
When I asked her if she wanted to suck my pork roll, if you get what I mean, she said "mmmmmmmm BACON" and swallowed my left nut.

After the wedding, we spent our honeymoon in the bathroom stall of McDonald's. We were going to have sex, but she broke the toilet and then we got sued and had to leave. I'll report back later with more stories.

Love,
Teamfoot

Doing fat chicks since 1969

Asian friend finder?

Sup guys, sorry i havnt been posting much, WOW is just getting better and better. 

Well i was scrolling through the various asian porn websites when an add for "asian friend finder" i joined and have over 10,000 "hey hotty!" notifications. Im not even asian...

i hope 1 in the 10k people that told me i was hot is an actual women. If not i will poke her and ask it for fried rice with shrimp.... hopefully pissing the hell out of them. 

I Love Asian Women, but men are gross.

Love,

Teamfoot

Porn sites that show girls with dicks are so photoshopped... but are a true fetish for me

Atheists are super gay.

Hey guys,
I'm cool with whatever you are, but when people bash religion like atheists, then I will rape them with a broomstick. Check this comment I posted, my nigs.

Just thought it'd make you laugh and be tight wit god at the same time.
Love,
Teamfoot
Pissing on the cats of scum.

What Would You Do?

Ok so listen to this question I came up with while I was reading Playboy: Fat Chicks Edition.

You're a virgin and you're on a hike with three super ugly girls that are complete strangers. You have no idea what their names are or anything about their personalities and they know nothing about you. All of a sudden, you see a dead Playboy bunny completely naked and she has her legs spread apart like she's waiting for you to bone her. One of the girls has a disposable camera and might take a picture of you while you're getting it on and send it to the cops, but you think you heard her say she's out of pictures.

What would you do?
Would you lose your virginity to a super hot chick that's dead, or would you wait for a less hot girl that's alive?

Leave your answers in the comments section.

Love,
Teamfoot

Whether they're dead or alive, we always poke the pune

Well then...

Mikey, you would only need 3 fetuses (I don't know how to spell shut up N00BS) to have a single kid (like you said, you only would keep it for 3 months), a whole room, and you'll be like Angelina Jolie (yet again shut up L0S3RS) after her 7th trip to Africa. Jesus woman, how many fucking Nigerians do you need? We all know you want to help, but come on, I think instead of using then for fame... just donate some mofucking cashola.

Well I'm off to play some serious WOW with my Asian peeps.

Love,
Teamfoot
Punting Gnomes, and eating KFC GRILLED chicken has never been better then it is now.

P.S- throw me some votes...
(Edited by Mikey, and KFC Grilled is really white.)

Kids are trouble

Hey guys, Mikey here.
Just saw that EVERYONE ELSE posted on the blog, leaving me. So I decided I would post. And here we are. Let me tell you two (2) things today. One thing: every time someone says LOL, a 6 year old's 3 day old kitten falls into a spinning blender, and then the kid gets punished with a crash of a beer bottle to the head. Second, if I was a girl, I would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions the third month after conception, so they were 1/3 of a baby. I would put them all in a jar with preservation liquid, then put them on shelves in a solitary room. I would do that until the whole room was covered with fetus jars. Then, I would have a kid, and when he was being an asshole, I would put him in the room and lock the door to show him how easily I could've aborted his ass.
Love,
Teamfoot
By reading this blog, no one would abort you!

माय एन्कोउन्तेद विथ अ फट चिक.

Haha, it set it to terrorist language.
Jack here, bringing you another great chat। This is a while old, but I can tell you it's still as fresh as a shemale getting it on with a midget. By the way... America, Fuck Yeah! I was talking with one person whom had said that America had helped the great nation of Venezuela, thanking us for our chainsaws to cut down the forest, and saying that he really liked our Zebra candy bars (These are older then my dads sperm), and our sugar cereal with marshmallows in the shape of Kama Sutra positions. Here we go!
Little background information: My name is Wellhung, get it? I know, you're laughing your asscheeks off. This is a FALSE story, so please do not think it's me.
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: And not see? Who the fuck do you think you are?
Wellhung: I get angry and shove a lit candle in your asshole.
Sweetheart: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Wellhung: Then I blow a HUGE load in your mouth. My wife is knocking at the door, so I bondage you with metal chains and take a HUGE shit on your chest. I tell my wife you were breaking into the house. She gets pissed and shoves a rolling pin in your vagina.
Sweetheart: I'm leaving.
Wellhung: She then shoves a spikey dildo in my asshole. I moan like a pig with pleasure.
Love,
Teamfoot
Your mom is wellhung!

My Event With A Fat Chick

So yesterday I was hanging in my secret hideout in McDonald's under the fry cooker eating the extra grease when I saw this girl barely slide on her back under the burger cooker that's about 6 feet off the ground. She was rather chubby, which is just the way I like 'em. I asked her if the burger scraps were any good, and she said something like "muh muh hungry now!!!!!"

I then asked her if she wanted to go some where, and we ended up having sex in Burger King. I swear I fit my entire body in her pussy it was sweet! She gave really good head because she was really hungry. It sucked though because when she turned around and knocked me out with her titties. That pissed me off so I dumped her and then she sat on me and broke almost every bone in my body. I'll write back later to tell you if I ever heal. You know now that I think about it, I might have knocked her up but she's so fat I'll never be able to tell. Shit... I don't want a fat kid, that's like having gay sons that have gay incest all the time. Wait a second... that sounds like the Jonas Brothers!

Love,
Teamfoot

McDonald's- Making skinny people fat and fat people well... fatter

P.S. I do NOT find fat girls attractive

I met a girl :D

so i was chatting with some serious babes on WOW when i checkd my gmail. I had a new message from adult friend finder. It was a girl named Jason, she was beautiful... surprisingly she looked exactly like my elf druid. I decided to send her a message. It read "hey babe you got some teh-pwn ears. want to powerlevel of characters tonight?" she replied yes and we did, it was amazing. we talked about all types of things, from gay norweign porn, to shoving 2L coke bottle's into our asses.

After our chat i friended her on myspace... he name seemed strongly masculine. But Jason is apparently German. She didnt have a profile pic but i still think im falling for her. I really want to go out with her


First Date.
So we have decided to meet for a date. After a few nights of questing and raiding together we thought it would be fun to meet in real life. Tonight were going to meet at the mall and im going to take her to the food court for some panda express. I know i know not very manly but you know im not that rich. The midget porn business doesn't give to much money, but it does scare you for life. Ok guys ill write back later and tell you how it goes... btw im wearing my new playboy cologne!



the aftermath
Well I just got back from my first date. It really didnt turn out that well. She was a short Asian women who worked in china town selling fake bags. All of her pictures were from google images. We went to panda express and she told me a bit about herself. When she wasnt working in China town or on the streets getting a little extra cash, she was a gold maker for a website that sells gold for wow. I was pretty disappointed she lied and should have noticed from her horrible grammar. Her name wasn't Jason, she used that as a cover up to her real name... Yo Ching Me-Ling
I knew I shouldn't have trusted Adult Friend Finder, and hopefully next time I will meet a cool girl, and hopefully not get raped

Love,
Teamfoot

Warcraft: The new Eharmony

Funny shit of the day.

Hey guys,
I recently took a survey. Let's examine that, shall we? It was a random question generator that an EXTREMELY flamboyant man on MySpace asked me to take. I decided, as drunk and high and stupid as I was, that I would make this homophobe as angry as possible. These are my answers:
Where were you 3 hours ago?
Time is gay.
Who are you in love with?
Feelings are gay.
Have you ever eaten a crayon?
Eating crayons are for kids and gay hobos.
Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Pink is gay.
When was the last time you went to the mall?
Malls are full of gay people.
Are you wearing socks right now?
Socks are gay.
Do you have more than $2000 in the bank?
Money is for gay people to buy clothes with.
When was the last time you drove?
Driving is for gay people to do on the way to their gay lover's house.
Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
Movies are gay.
Are you hot?
Fuck yea.
I should note that he somehow friended me, and I have no fucking clue who he is.
Love,
Teamfoot
P.S. This blog is NOT gay.

I'm the Champion (Suck My Ballz)

You know, I think I would win the fat contest, I mean seriously, look at this guy, he's fatter than Manuel Uribe (world's fattest man) at an all you can eat buffet

Love,

Teamfoot

Eating toast out of your ass, mmmmm butter in your crack

Spencer Schmeckle in da Hizzhouse

Hey you guys, my name's Spencer and I'm looking forward to posting in this blog than I am to get my monthly anal sex from my dad tonight. I've looked forward to writing more than my dads hot cock in my ass. Well, almost.

Love,

Teamfoot

Putting the LOL in PiLOLsophy

Snicker like your best friend filming in the closet while you blow your mom.

Hey guys,
Why does no one like me? I'm the innocent intern, and yet, Tom and Jack are getting votes. Damn! So I have some lines of my own. Me and my friend were having a 'My Dick' competition, and I said "My dick is so big, that if you put it on a keyboard, it would go from A-Z". Great, right? Wrong. I was thinking about that diss while typing an email to my mother. And look how close AZ are? What the fuck? I dissed myself. Picture time! ... Damn! Not working. I'll give this laptop a throbbing bicycle.
Love,
Teamfoot
For those who don't know, a throbbing bicycle is when your girlfriend (or hooker) lies doggystyle on the ground, and you pedal your bike as fast as you can, then hit the front brake, and fly into their ass. Just don't miss! (Do not attempt, unless you are trying to break up with them.)

New Chat Room!

Hey guys,
I had some extra time today, so I thought I'd hit the chat rooms again. You know how thistle (spell check rocks fat wang) play out. (BTW, Tom, that story was inopropro, completely uncalled for, and completely hilarious.) Lets get to it, shall we?
LC55: Hi
Amanda1995(thats my name): Hi
LC55: asl?
Amanda1995: 14, f, CO (This is getting good)
Amanda1995: u?
LC55: 34, m, ky
Amanda1995: o, ur older
LC55: is that ok?
Amanda1995: my mom says im not supposed to...
LC55: it can be our secret
Amanda1995: r u sure she won't find out?
LC55: absolutely, babe (This guy is a dickhole). what do u look like? pics?
Amanda1995: im kinda short, have long black hair, and green eyes.
LC55: sounds pretty :D have u ever been with a boy before?
Amanda1995: like with him how?
LC55: like kissing or hugging or touching etc.
Amanda1995: well ive kissed a boy before (this is FAKE, FYI)
LC55: Would u let me touch u?
Amanda1995: where?
LC55: all of u baby
Amanda1995: o... ive never done anything like that before.
LC55: have u seen a mans dick (He asked that... I've went through a lot of people to find one like this :D )
Amanda1995: no
LC55: do u want to?
Amanda1995: i dont know, is it gross?
LC55: not gross at all, itl make u feel real good.
Amanda1995: u sure?
LC55: if i was there right now, what would u do to me?
Amanda1995: i dunno, i might kiss u if u were cute :D
LC55: want to no what id to to u?
Amanda1995: wood i like it?
LC55: youd love it
Amanda1995: uh ok
LC55: id slide my dick in ur pussy and then play with ur titties wile i fucked u slow.
Amanda1995: what?
LC55: do u no what a blowjob is?
Amanda1995: thats where u kiss their penis, right?
LC55: its where u take the penis and lick and suck it. would u do that to me?
Amanda1995: thats gross. you want me to suck your dick?
LC55: yeah, baby!
Amanda1995: Your IP address has been logged by the Child Internet Protection Agency. Please wait while the mem ref code '853923' is entered into the database.
Amanda1995: Notice to chatter: The FBI has logged a transcript of this conversation, along with the IP address of the user due to possible violation of US law. If you think this session was logged in error, please contact your local FBI office and quote ref number '853923'. VIOLATION: Solicitation of a minor.
Amanda1995: NOTICE: If you think this session was logged in error, contact your local FBI branch office or state your reasoning to the agent monitoring this chat. Failure to do so within the next 2 minutes will have your IP address permanently filed in the FBI criminal database, and will result in legal action.
LC55: what? oh please dont, i was kidding!
Amanda1995: I'm afraid solicitation of a minor is a serious offence, and I can do nothing.
LC55: when my wife finds out, shell kill me. she had it coming!
Amanda1995: Is there anything else you'd like to say now that you're a registered pedophile?
***LC55 has logged off the server***
Amanda1995: EPIC WIN, FAGBAG!
Love,
Teamfoot
Smoke weed everyday!

Hello Everyone :D

My name is tom. 

i have a bit of a story behind me, It all started one late night were i was sitting alone playing warcraft....AGAIN. I decided to shed off my clothes and facebook my old stoner buddies. Couldnt find them : / . I jumped in the shower were i can make it rain, and also fog up the glass and write "HI" My mother was out side trying to make some extra money on the corner but got tired and came in. I had stepped out and were trimming my pubes when she walked in the bathroom and decided it would be smart to give my oral (so i could get the ones i missed)

At the moment my neighbor saw my mother do some pretty volgure things to my shlong. He called the police.

They arrived about 5 mins later (great response time!) and arrested my mother on several accounts of old warrents.

This is who i am and i love it

I eat, I sleep, I play WOW

Ed is in the lead!

Hey guys. Ed here. My real name is not Ed, but instead it is Jack. See, I only did that in order to keep separate from Jack one. Since we have some new members, he decided that he would be the one to take the fall, and quit. Mikey, you're still an intern.
Jack "Ed" Shaun.
Teamfoot: Putting the 'Foot' in foot fetish.

Google has aids

Hey guys,
Google has some really big balls. Big enough to take away our money. So now, we have no income and I still have to pay Ed (Mikey is an intern, Ed is a senior writer). Yes, it seemed quick, but Mikey is showing no signs of growth, and Ed buys pizza for me when he comes over. Stupid Mikey lives half a country away. Pretty expensive shipping, so Ed just bought him a Papa Johns giftcard. And did you hear about domino's tape? With those crazy assholes putting their nose in the pizza? View it here. Parental guidance advised.
Love, Teamfoot
Your gateway to the 'X' button on your browser.

Edward's Intro

Hello, my name is Edward James III. Destiny works in funny ways, and I have a feeling that I was not chosen to 'brighten your day', but rather fuck your ass out with my $5 footlong schlong. Nonetheless, in order to meditate and concentrate on what I should bring to you this fine day, I got on a chat room and started to have cyber sex. This is a chat room in the life of me.

ED.: You ready yet? Im bearing to go!
SexyKarla17: Yhea im slipping out of my clothes right now, what do you look like?
ED.: a Kodiac bear
SexyKarla17: ?
ED.: Im soft naked, fuzzy and waiting for you to come mount me
SexyKarla17: Oh I love cute fuzzy bears, I walk up and get on top of you stroking your soft hair, kissing you gently as my move my way down your stomach
ED.: I growl to warm you my cubs are near
SexyKarla17: huh?
ED.: Bears get fuckin pumped when anyone is near their cubs
Sexkarla17: yhea hehe dont be silly..
SexyKarla17: I love how you growl as I continue to kiss you, while taking off your pants.
ED.: Bears dont wear pants and you should cover yourself in Honey now
SexyKarla17: hehe you would love to lick that off me huh. I pour honey all over my warm wet body waiting for you to start licking it off me slowly
ED.: I sniff the air to see where the sweet scent of the honey is coming from, while slowly snorting and walking towards you
ED.: I Growl again, and start to bite you
SexyKarla17: Yhea that feels good..ooooo...not too hard now
ED.: I bite harder peeling flesh from your stomach, and look up into your eyes to show you my mouth dripping with your warm blood mixed with honey, I then I let my cubs rip apart your limbs and play with you like a ragdoll.
SexyKarla17: what the fuck?
ED.:uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh and im spent.
Just another day in the life of me.
Love, Teamfoot
Having sex with turkeys, smoking joints in the alleys, and throwing rocks at cats has never been more fun.

New theory of life

Hey guys, it's Mikey here. Great to see that you're reading this blog. We hope this image brightens your day and hopefully makes you subscribe to our evil, yet hilarious programming. But really, we're just trying to fill time, and we've run out of money.
Love, Teamfoot

Mikey, your mom sucks like a vacuum and blows like a fan

Hey guys,
First of all, joint smoking = not cool. Bob Marley smoking a joint = awesome. A joint doing it's self= crazy awesome. Find me a picture of that and I'll rew- Well, no promises, because we've run out of money. Please read and subscibe! I'll kiss your feat!
Anyway, I gave this Edward a call, and was highly impressed with his (cough) language choice. I think it's ok to hire him. Maybe we could pay him, if this whole adsense thing pulls through like a newborn. And not one that gets stuck, either. However, that is the point we are stuck at.
Let's hope we don't have cold feet on this ad position!
Love, Teamfoot.

Possible Noobie!

Hey guys, it's Mikey again. As you can see, me and Jack have been pretty uptight (like his mom) about this whole "Who's Better?" debate. Well, to douse the bush fire by jizzing on it, I have decided to interview a possible new candidate, Edward James the third. He aced my one-question exam, asking him to answer his own question. He asked himself, "What do you like most in a woman?" And responded by saying "My dick". I was rolling on the floor with tears streaming down my face, trying to gain control and not touch any previously used heroin needles. Now, I just need Jack's approval.
Love, Teamfoot: Feeding your foot fetish; but not really.

Fat guy - new and improved

Hey guys, it's Jack here. Really nice to have some readers; and I mean that sincerely. As you can see on the right, I am posting a competitive photo to Mikey's. Interns; Ha! Whats the deal with them, anyway? Poor, young people just in search of a job? Or what? Just kidding, I love you Mike. I've got to go, my 6 year old brother just called me a twat. (to compare, I'm 22, so I think he was a little accident).
Love, Teamfoot; No news is bad news, so make something bad happen.

Mikey, folks.

Hey guys, it's Mikey. I finally got a profile, and I think that me and Jack are going to have some sort of competition soon.
Smell you later (not a diss, please keep reading our blog).
Love, Mikey on the behalf of Teamfoot

The pilot episode of the soon to be best thing ever

Kind of like Arrested Development... Except a little more sucky. Welcome to the show, where if bribes, blackmail, and blowjobs can't influence senators, I really don't know what can. We here at Teamfoot try to bring you the most top-quality entertainment for all ages, and literacy rates. Hopefully, we won't be shut down for plagiarism for AT LEAST a week this time. Nonetheless, this is the intern Mikey, welcoming you to our blog. As you can see, you would most likely find the 'amusing' picture above to be very, well, amusing. We here at Teamfoot, in order to show our devotion to you, a reader, have decided to make this picture our desktop background. Please, please subscribe! This is humiliating enough. Besides, it's 2009! And your only moral concern is your own happiness. See you next time!
Love, Teamfoot Enterprises
(P.S. this picture kicks ass)